Last night after work I settled in for a quiet evening in front of the TV. Actually at the same time I was making this:
Given that I’m short sighted and can’t wear glasses or contact lenses when I crochet but need visual assistance to see the TV, most of the time initially there wasn’t much TV-watching going on unless I scrabbled for my glasses and slung them over my face if something I heard caught my attention. At least until The Bachelor came on, at which point I pretty much forgot the crochet and started to watch with horrified absorption.
So it looks like some dude called the Honey Badger is Australia’s current Bachelor. Wikipedia gives a fairly long-winded description of this animal which sheds no light whatsoever as to why this moniker has been applied to the Bachelor whose other name is Nick Cummins, but the Urban Dictionary says a honey badger is “The Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom. No bigger or faster animal ever gives the honey badger crap. If they did, that animal wouldn’t have the chance to regret it”. Maybe that’s meant to explain it – apparently Nick was a Wallaby. Anyway, Badgerlor seems a mild-natured, pleasant guy with a mop of curls and a moustache and a physique to die for so at this stage I’m thinking I’m happy to keep watching,
Only to be thoroughly disconcerted as the women start appearing on my screen. Not for any physical reason – they are all beautiful of course, if you like the primped and preened look. There’s desperado Cass who apparently knew Badgerlor before the show and fell in love with him then, and I think she emphasised this point at least five times during the show. It seems that every time Badgerlor even looks at another woman, it’s a new experience in torment for her. I almost wish the producers would tell her to leave so she could be put out of her misery, but of course they won’t as she’s entertainment value. Heck, I wouldn’t either if I was a producer. I’m not sure what the deal is with Cass’s hair either, because she has a habit of fiddling and stroking it. Maybe she is imagining it’s the honey badger’s smooth pelt (*cough* ).
The Badgelor takes a chic called Brittany on a single date on a boat at the start of the show, and whoever has last say in what the women wear on the show needs to go back to the drawing board because she’s wearing heels and I swear I could only think of her turning an ankle or tripping as she was climbing into the boat. Then later she’s wearing a back to front dress which must be the fashion at the moment because desperado Cass also is wearing one.
Then there is what they call a group date, and to be perfectly honest the best part of that was the llama. Yes, have no idea why there was a llama there but it gave me the courage to continue to watch.
The winner of the group date was a woman by the name of Vanessa Sunshine (yes, really) and her prize is alone-time with Badgerlor. The irony is that she looked far from sunshiney at the prospect. That date lasted all of three minutes I think.
Of course there has to be a trio of mean girls, dominated by two with a third one hanging on because she just wants to live vicariously through the other two and share their glory. The cringe-factor went through the roof watching these three. Had to laugh though when one claimed to be an adult woman, when all I was reminded of in watching them was the school yard.
There are the sweet girls of course who don’t stand a chance against the mean ones, and the few that seem genuine and mature who probably will be the last ones standing, the exotic Russian with the child being a case in point.
I didn’t know whether to cheer or succumb to more embarrassment when one of the evicted women hustled Badgerlor outside to tell him not to trust the two mean girls – oh lord, the schoolyard memories. It was obvious Badgerlor didn’t know how to respond to that, and couldn’t help her into the car fast enough. In fact, Badgerlor pretty much characterised himself as being a tad gauche throughout the show, awkwardly making mention of his and Brooke’s “first breakfast in bed”, and not knowing how to deal with Cass’s embarrassingly awkward expression of her adoration at the cocktail party.
In my opinion The Bachelor is sublimely horrible…… and I’ll definitely be watching it again tonight.
Thanks to Tenplay and Network Ten for the pics.